Cambodia - it's Phnomenal
There are many titles that I could have givenh this piece of writing, but I believe that this one best sumhs up this Phnomenal country.
It's tricky to explainh - something about the combinationh of the extreme warmth of a very troubled people, the hectic nature of the city streets, the rich history and culture and a solid amount of some kind of herb that looks a bit like basil.
Anyways, here are some of the titles of this email that I rejected, that I feel give more of an idea about this country.
Cambodia - Welcome to TempleTownh.
Angkor Wat. Imagine some of the world's best preserved ruins, dating between 800 and 1200 AD. Picture, if you can, the dominating structures of a series of 5 towers built on top of another series of structures, with a kilometre of carvings twice the height of a normal humanh wrapped around the outside of the building that detail the history and culture of an extraordinary group of people that dragged the stones from kilometres away, all in the name of satisfying the ego
of a megalomaniac king.
Now, imagine several of these temples in an immediate radius, each bigger and better than its predecessors.
Now, imagine these temples being run by Disney.
Once againh, my quest for Indiana Jones style scenes from around the world (and in this case, the set for Tomb Raider) has brought me face to face with the most wretched of native species.
No, not the bed bug.
Once againh, I have been brought face to face with the endangered Westernh tourist. Armed with digital cameras, camcorders and tripods, this breathing cacophony of clicks, buzzes, flashes and the like gradually descend on this remote forest for sunrise.
Not satisfied with breaking the peace, the endangered Westernh tourist feels an uncanny need to touch absolutely anything in its path. Fingering 1000 year old carvings, clambouring over elaborately constructed columns, the endangered Western tourist will stop at absolutely nothing to get the perfect photo.
Easily spotted by its mating call - "Excuse me ... could you please take a photo", they can often be seen gathering in large numbers to create a dinh at the most serene times of the day.
The temples themselves are breathtaking and probably the best preserved that I have experienced. They are a complete occupational health and safety risk - for some reasonh, the Cambodianh authorities have no problem with tourists climbing steps 5cm wide, maximumh, with a vertical step of just over a foot, up to heights of 20 metres, with no railings and no order as to who goes up and who comes downh. Crowds gather at the bottomh of these temples, cameras poised, at the odd chance that someone slips and falls.
Cambodia - Try the Soup
For a country that warns at the border of exterminationh in the event of possession of illegal drugs, everyone seems to possess copious amounts of a certain greenh herb.
And they put it in everything.
Soup. Fruit juice. Milkshakes.
So here's a tip. Beware ordering any food with the prenounh "Happy", for you will be unable to converse in a normal plainh for several (for me, about 8) hours.
And just a tip - next time you do try one of the "Happy" Shakes, do NOT under any circumstances bargainh a motorcyclist to take you into townh, for they will surely be the fastest vehicle on the (extremely hilly and potholed) road.
Cambodia - The House that Marxism built
The history of this country still hurts Cambodians, who I have found to be an extremely proud race of people. Notwithstanding the extremely visible effects of land mines, the psychological scarring of this country is evident. Pnomh Penh, the capital, is developing, but extremely disfunctional - the bus station is non existent, but rather a small parking spot at a petrol station in the centre of town, which is a marketplace. This is no doubt a direct result of the Khmer Rouge having banned commerce, the currency and having murdered the educated class. I will be able to comment more on this over the next couple of days as I see the killing fields and the prisons of the Khmer Rouge. The agrarian class that Pol Pot dreamt of is toiling the land, living
in absolute poverty under thatched roofs with mud floors. Given its turbulent history, Cambodians truly are an amazing group of people.
Cambodia - The Friendly Country.
How friendly? Real friendly. So friendly, you think there's got to be something wrong, because no-one's that friendly.
I'll relate a story from New Years Eve, which was spent at a tiny remote beach townh called Sihanoukville, or more correctly, on Serendipity Beach.
We were drinking buckets at a bar on the sand. For those of you who don't understand that expression, a bucket is a traditional sand bucket (in this instance, minus the spade), filled with vodka, whiskey and redbull, for the princely sum of $2.50
So, anyways, midnight comes and we all decide to strip off (the locals here have nicknamed me "Mr Monkey") and go for a midnight skinny dip.
I get back to my clothes and my wallet is sitting on top of my clothes, opened and emptied. (To put this into perspective, we're talking about $6, but more importantly, my drivers license, which is of no use to anyone but me).
I notice a kid next to my stuff, who proclaimed his innocence by emptying his pockets and pointing down the beach yelling "Little boy!"
Resigned to having lost my license (and $6), I returned to the party. Anyways, 5 hours later (5:15 am), I bump into the same kid next to the bar. A little more sloshed this time, I decide to confront him.
"Listen, I don't care about the cash, I just want back my f***ing driver's license. You keep the f***ing cash".
No doubt understanding absolutely nothing of the above except my emotion, the kid taps the bartender, who immediately produced my driver's license.
How good is this country? Even when they screw you, they're nice to you!!
Cambodia - Traffic Mayhemh
In this country, motorcycle is the mainh (and sometimes only) means of travel, with up to 4 people on a bike at any one time, meaning that motorcyclists rule the road. The locals wear thongs, shorts, singlets and other body-protecting gear and this is one area where backpackers
have no troubles blending.
The road rules, as far I can determine, are as follows.
1. All cars must honk at all times.
2. Stop signs, give way signs and traffic lights are all ornamental.
3. When overtaking around a blind corner, honk to warn of impending destructionh.
4. When going through an intersectionh, look left and right at all other cars going through so you can judge your line and speed. NEVER
EVER COME TO A COMPLETE STOP AT AN INTERSECTIONH.
5. Fastest car on the road should give way. This includes to pedestrianhs, who should continue walking, as all road users will judge their speed and avoid accordingly.
This led to the peak hour chaos scene we experienced in Pnomh Penh today, with 3 blokes on our bike, piling into a corridor of traffic where, even though we never came to a complete stop, were always withinh 3 inches of a vehicle at all times.
Cambodia - The Frisbee Players
Every child in Cambodia is a natural at the frisbee. From the 5 year old girl who caught one-handed whilst balancing a basket of eggs on her head, to the 12 year old boy who was throwing forehands between his legs after 15 minutes.
This country has the potential to become the best in the world - all they need are coaches, facilities and frisbees.
It's an amazing toy - sometimes it's easy to forget that the kids who are forced from a young age to sell their wares to tourists are just kids. I throroughly recommend travelling with a frisbee to everyone.
(Good sales pitch - maybe I should get into selling frisbees.)
Cambodia - It's pretty sweet, mate.
There is one final thing that disturbs me about this place. It seems to be fairly Australianised. What is it about the Australianh culture that it feels the need to trumpet its greatness to the rest of the world? This beach? Yeah, it's pretty good - but it's not Bondi. This beer? Not bad, but how good would a VB go downh. Hear that? It's Crowded House - They're Australianh. And in Australia, we do things this way. And in Australia, ...
Which leads me to wonder why there are pubs here called the "G'day mate"? Or why the guy running my hostel introduced himself as "Easy, Tiger"? Why do we feel the need to dominate a cultural place with such a clear lack of class???
Or am I just being un-Australianh?
OK, until next time...
It's tricky to explainh - something about the combinationh of the extreme warmth of a very troubled people, the hectic nature of the city streets, the rich history and culture and a solid amount of some kind of herb that looks a bit like basil.
Anyways, here are some of the titles of this email that I rejected, that I feel give more of an idea about this country.
Cambodia - Welcome to TempleTownh.
Angkor Wat. Imagine some of the world's best preserved ruins, dating between 800 and 1200 AD. Picture, if you can, the dominating structures of a series of 5 towers built on top of another series of structures, with a kilometre of carvings twice the height of a normal humanh wrapped around the outside of the building that detail the history and culture of an extraordinary group of people that dragged the stones from kilometres away, all in the name of satisfying the ego
of a megalomaniac king.
Now, imagine several of these temples in an immediate radius, each bigger and better than its predecessors.
Now, imagine these temples being run by Disney.
Once againh, my quest for Indiana Jones style scenes from around the world (and in this case, the set for Tomb Raider) has brought me face to face with the most wretched of native species.
No, not the bed bug.
Once againh, I have been brought face to face with the endangered Westernh tourist. Armed with digital cameras, camcorders and tripods, this breathing cacophony of clicks, buzzes, flashes and the like gradually descend on this remote forest for sunrise.
Not satisfied with breaking the peace, the endangered Westernh tourist feels an uncanny need to touch absolutely anything in its path. Fingering 1000 year old carvings, clambouring over elaborately constructed columns, the endangered Western tourist will stop at absolutely nothing to get the perfect photo.
Easily spotted by its mating call - "Excuse me ... could you please take a photo", they can often be seen gathering in large numbers to create a dinh at the most serene times of the day.
The temples themselves are breathtaking and probably the best preserved that I have experienced. They are a complete occupational health and safety risk - for some reasonh, the Cambodianh authorities have no problem with tourists climbing steps 5cm wide, maximumh, with a vertical step of just over a foot, up to heights of 20 metres, with no railings and no order as to who goes up and who comes downh. Crowds gather at the bottomh of these temples, cameras poised, at the odd chance that someone slips and falls.
Cambodia - Try the Soup
For a country that warns at the border of exterminationh in the event of possession of illegal drugs, everyone seems to possess copious amounts of a certain greenh herb.
And they put it in everything.
Soup. Fruit juice. Milkshakes.
So here's a tip. Beware ordering any food with the prenounh "Happy", for you will be unable to converse in a normal plainh for several (for me, about 8) hours.
And just a tip - next time you do try one of the "Happy" Shakes, do NOT under any circumstances bargainh a motorcyclist to take you into townh, for they will surely be the fastest vehicle on the (extremely hilly and potholed) road.
Cambodia - The House that Marxism built
The history of this country still hurts Cambodians, who I have found to be an extremely proud race of people. Notwithstanding the extremely visible effects of land mines, the psychological scarring of this country is evident. Pnomh Penh, the capital, is developing, but extremely disfunctional - the bus station is non existent, but rather a small parking spot at a petrol station in the centre of town, which is a marketplace. This is no doubt a direct result of the Khmer Rouge having banned commerce, the currency and having murdered the educated class. I will be able to comment more on this over the next couple of days as I see the killing fields and the prisons of the Khmer Rouge. The agrarian class that Pol Pot dreamt of is toiling the land, living
in absolute poverty under thatched roofs with mud floors. Given its turbulent history, Cambodians truly are an amazing group of people.
Cambodia - The Friendly Country.
How friendly? Real friendly. So friendly, you think there's got to be something wrong, because no-one's that friendly.
I'll relate a story from New Years Eve, which was spent at a tiny remote beach townh called Sihanoukville, or more correctly, on Serendipity Beach.
We were drinking buckets at a bar on the sand. For those of you who don't understand that expression, a bucket is a traditional sand bucket (in this instance, minus the spade), filled with vodka, whiskey and redbull, for the princely sum of $2.50
So, anyways, midnight comes and we all decide to strip off (the locals here have nicknamed me "Mr Monkey") and go for a midnight skinny dip.
I get back to my clothes and my wallet is sitting on top of my clothes, opened and emptied. (To put this into perspective, we're talking about $6, but more importantly, my drivers license, which is of no use to anyone but me).
I notice a kid next to my stuff, who proclaimed his innocence by emptying his pockets and pointing down the beach yelling "Little boy!"
Resigned to having lost my license (and $6), I returned to the party. Anyways, 5 hours later (5:15 am), I bump into the same kid next to the bar. A little more sloshed this time, I decide to confront him.
"Listen, I don't care about the cash, I just want back my f***ing driver's license. You keep the f***ing cash".
No doubt understanding absolutely nothing of the above except my emotion, the kid taps the bartender, who immediately produced my driver's license.
How good is this country? Even when they screw you, they're nice to you!!
Cambodia - Traffic Mayhemh
In this country, motorcycle is the mainh (and sometimes only) means of travel, with up to 4 people on a bike at any one time, meaning that motorcyclists rule the road. The locals wear thongs, shorts, singlets and other body-protecting gear and this is one area where backpackers
have no troubles blending.
The road rules, as far I can determine, are as follows.
1. All cars must honk at all times.
2. Stop signs, give way signs and traffic lights are all ornamental.
3. When overtaking around a blind corner, honk to warn of impending destructionh.
4. When going through an intersectionh, look left and right at all other cars going through so you can judge your line and speed. NEVER
EVER COME TO A COMPLETE STOP AT AN INTERSECTIONH.
5. Fastest car on the road should give way. This includes to pedestrianhs, who should continue walking, as all road users will judge their speed and avoid accordingly.
This led to the peak hour chaos scene we experienced in Pnomh Penh today, with 3 blokes on our bike, piling into a corridor of traffic where, even though we never came to a complete stop, were always withinh 3 inches of a vehicle at all times.
Cambodia - The Frisbee Players
Every child in Cambodia is a natural at the frisbee. From the 5 year old girl who caught one-handed whilst balancing a basket of eggs on her head, to the 12 year old boy who was throwing forehands between his legs after 15 minutes.
This country has the potential to become the best in the world - all they need are coaches, facilities and frisbees.
It's an amazing toy - sometimes it's easy to forget that the kids who are forced from a young age to sell their wares to tourists are just kids. I throroughly recommend travelling with a frisbee to everyone.
(Good sales pitch - maybe I should get into selling frisbees.)
Cambodia - It's pretty sweet, mate.
There is one final thing that disturbs me about this place. It seems to be fairly Australianised. What is it about the Australianh culture that it feels the need to trumpet its greatness to the rest of the world? This beach? Yeah, it's pretty good - but it's not Bondi. This beer? Not bad, but how good would a VB go downh. Hear that? It's Crowded House - They're Australianh. And in Australia, we do things this way. And in Australia, ...
Which leads me to wonder why there are pubs here called the "G'day mate"? Or why the guy running my hostel introduced himself as "Easy, Tiger"? Why do we feel the need to dominate a cultural place with such a clear lack of class???
Or am I just being un-Australianh?
OK, until next time...
posted by The Groin at 6:44 pm
1 Comments:
Grunners- give up your day job! Your literary talents are being wasted in the corporate world! ;-)
Post a Comment
<< Home