More on snobs
Apparently, my last post on snobs touched a chord with some people. It seems that everyone has been snobbed off at least once in their life.
So, I've tried to come up with a definition for 'snob'. The best I could do was in quoting Mac, an American friend of mine who's cynicism for life exceeds my own.
http://halmustdie.blogspot.com/
"A snob behaves characteristically because of a deep seated desire to other exclude members of its species in order to inflate its own ego. You see, where most animals aquire energy (food) in order for its body to survive, snobs cultivate ego in order for its self-worth to survive."
But, surely snobs need to get laid, right? How do they partake in 'relations' whilst socially excluding their species?
Underlying psychology enables us to understand the complex mating rituals of the snob.
The snob doesn't require the same features in a partner as the rest of the population. Where most people look for a sense of humour, fun, or just a nice smile, the snob is merely seeking to fertilise their ego. The only way to do this is to go out with an even bigger snob. Scientists have labelled this theory 'Survival of the snobbiest', which suggests that over time, our society will evolve a race of super-snobs.
But the more I thought about it, the more I realised that it is a massive generalisation to define a 'snob'. I don't believe there is any such thing as a pure snob, but rather snobbery as a concept can be categorised. In doing so, I also realised I was a bit more of a snob than I first thought.
1. The fashion snob.
Due to the phenomenon of metrosexuality, this type of snob is easily recognised by matching features that cross gender boundaries.
These include tell tale "von Dutch" headgear, tight $500 jeans specially designed to look like they have been worn in, perfectly straight ironed hair and Havaianas thongs (no other brand will suffice).
The essence of the fashion snob is to spend hundreds of dollars and man hours on sculpting a look that makes it look like absolutely no effort has been put into the look. Whilst, of course, at the same time ignoring everyone around them who is not at least equally as snobby as themselves.
2. The music snob.
These are the people who are always listening to an artist that you've never heard of, or the obscure album from the artist you have heard of, or the obscure B-side track from the album you have heard of.
Every now and then an artist comes out of nowhere and becomes extremely popular. Of course, the music snob was listening to them 2 years before. "Yeah, I've listened to some of that guy - he used to be cool - you know, when he was doing all that old-school shit with Dr Dre before he sold out".
Someone else liking an artist is just one more excuse for the music snob to dislike the album. By the time the artist is 'discovered', the music snob must have moved on.
But, there are clearly some artists out there that even the music snob must respect. Examples include the Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, Pink Floyd, etc. How does the music snob justify listening to these classics when so many other people do as well?
To justify this, the music snob keeps a running formula in their head - a matrix that compares the talent, musical and historical contribution of the artist with the volume of people listening to the artist. Clearly, the Beatles have made such a contribution, that the size of their audience would never reach saturation point for the musical snob to call the Beatles overrated.
And not enough that the music snob won't listen to albums or artists that they deem to be lacking in musical integrity. A music snob is only satisfied when they have completely denigrated an artist or album to the point, where someone who does enjoy listening to the artist or album feels inferior for the experience.
3. The Job Snob
Ever been out at a bar/pub/club and been asked "What do you do?"
Even better, ever been out at a bar/pub/club where the last question you got asked was "What do you do?"
It's a loaded question.
Q: "What do you do?"
A: "Well, I'm a school teacher."
Q: "Hey, that's great. Good for you."
Best answer: Don't answer it. Deflect the question.
Ever since "Princess" Mary raised the bar for gold diggers worldwide, if you don't answer "Well actually, I'm a prince", then the answer is wrong.
I mean, you don't honestly believe that someone asks you that question because they're interested in your personality?
The very nature of the question is artifical, designed to shoe box you into an income (and therefore, social) bracket.
The question should be re-worded, "What is your future income potential?"
4. The coffee snob
"Do they make good coffee? Because I only drink good coffee."
A coffee snob is probably as concerned with the quality of their coffee as a skydiver is in ensuring his parachute is packed correctly.
It's a cup of coffee. Beans. Hot water. Milk. Get over it.
5. The travel snob
Preoccupied with a primeval need to find the 'authentic travelling experience', the travel snob refuses to accept that they are not a local of the country they are visiting.
I always understood backpacking to have very few rules, being more an expression of free spirit in a foreign environment. Thus, backpacking requires respect for everything around you - geography and people.
Inherent in this is the conclusion that backpackers are tolerant for the circumstances of all other travellers.
The travel snob shirks this conclusion, insisting that their form of travel is correct, implying that anyone who travels in a manner different to their's is merely wrong.
I recently had the fortune to meet a travel snob in Cambodia - in this instance, a Swiss girl riding around Cambodia via motorcycle.
She seemed to have issues with my format of travel that were summed up as follows.
1. It is wrong to sit on a beach in a tropical beach location and to not know where the local town is. This is especially true if you choose to eat a $2 meal at a restaurant on the sand, instead of hiking up the hill to the rat infested markets.
2. Travelling for a period of 3 weeks is inherently wrong, because it suggests that routine and normalcy are your definining characteristics, instead of intransiency. This is especially true if you need to return to a job, because that means you have sold out to capitalism and The Man.
Apparently, if you don't travel with the locals (at a tropical beach location) and eat with the locals (at a tropical beach location), and rough it with the locals (at a tropical beach location), then you just aren't travelling properly.
Question: How far does this principle extend?
Well, it happens to be a fact that medical care in Cambodia is poor. In fact, I would go so far as to say that the average Cambodian would never have had a Typhoid vaccination.
Apply the above principle.
Needless to say, the Swiss girl contracted Typhoid.
I mean, I'm all for freedom of spirit.
But when such 'freedom' leads to the decision between contracting a highly contagious, yet easily preventible disease and the pursuit of an authentic travelling experience ... do I even need to finish this thought?
Conclusion
I'm too good for all you snobs.
So, I've tried to come up with a definition for 'snob'. The best I could do was in quoting Mac, an American friend of mine who's cynicism for life exceeds my own.
http://halmustdie.blogspot.com/
"A snob behaves characteristically because of a deep seated desire to other exclude members of its species in order to inflate its own ego. You see, where most animals aquire energy (food) in order for its body to survive, snobs cultivate ego in order for its self-worth to survive."
But, surely snobs need to get laid, right? How do they partake in 'relations' whilst socially excluding their species?
Underlying psychology enables us to understand the complex mating rituals of the snob.
The snob doesn't require the same features in a partner as the rest of the population. Where most people look for a sense of humour, fun, or just a nice smile, the snob is merely seeking to fertilise their ego. The only way to do this is to go out with an even bigger snob. Scientists have labelled this theory 'Survival of the snobbiest', which suggests that over time, our society will evolve a race of super-snobs.
But the more I thought about it, the more I realised that it is a massive generalisation to define a 'snob'. I don't believe there is any such thing as a pure snob, but rather snobbery as a concept can be categorised. In doing so, I also realised I was a bit more of a snob than I first thought.
1. The fashion snob.
Due to the phenomenon of metrosexuality, this type of snob is easily recognised by matching features that cross gender boundaries.
These include tell tale "von Dutch" headgear, tight $500 jeans specially designed to look like they have been worn in, perfectly straight ironed hair and Havaianas thongs (no other brand will suffice).
The essence of the fashion snob is to spend hundreds of dollars and man hours on sculpting a look that makes it look like absolutely no effort has been put into the look. Whilst, of course, at the same time ignoring everyone around them who is not at least equally as snobby as themselves.
2. The music snob.
These are the people who are always listening to an artist that you've never heard of, or the obscure album from the artist you have heard of, or the obscure B-side track from the album you have heard of.
Every now and then an artist comes out of nowhere and becomes extremely popular. Of course, the music snob was listening to them 2 years before. "Yeah, I've listened to some of that guy - he used to be cool - you know, when he was doing all that old-school shit with Dr Dre before he sold out".
Someone else liking an artist is just one more excuse for the music snob to dislike the album. By the time the artist is 'discovered', the music snob must have moved on.
But, there are clearly some artists out there that even the music snob must respect. Examples include the Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, Pink Floyd, etc. How does the music snob justify listening to these classics when so many other people do as well?
To justify this, the music snob keeps a running formula in their head - a matrix that compares the talent, musical and historical contribution of the artist with the volume of people listening to the artist. Clearly, the Beatles have made such a contribution, that the size of their audience would never reach saturation point for the musical snob to call the Beatles overrated.
And not enough that the music snob won't listen to albums or artists that they deem to be lacking in musical integrity. A music snob is only satisfied when they have completely denigrated an artist or album to the point, where someone who does enjoy listening to the artist or album feels inferior for the experience.
3. The Job Snob
Ever been out at a bar/pub/club and been asked "What do you do?"
Even better, ever been out at a bar/pub/club where the last question you got asked was "What do you do?"
It's a loaded question.
Q: "What do you do?"
A: "Well, I'm a school teacher."
Q: "Hey, that's great. Good for you."
Best answer: Don't answer it. Deflect the question.
Ever since "Princess" Mary raised the bar for gold diggers worldwide, if you don't answer "Well actually, I'm a prince", then the answer is wrong.
I mean, you don't honestly believe that someone asks you that question because they're interested in your personality?
The very nature of the question is artifical, designed to shoe box you into an income (and therefore, social) bracket.
The question should be re-worded, "What is your future income potential?"
4. The coffee snob
"Do they make good coffee? Because I only drink good coffee."
A coffee snob is probably as concerned with the quality of their coffee as a skydiver is in ensuring his parachute is packed correctly.
It's a cup of coffee. Beans. Hot water. Milk. Get over it.
5. The travel snob
Preoccupied with a primeval need to find the 'authentic travelling experience', the travel snob refuses to accept that they are not a local of the country they are visiting.
I always understood backpacking to have very few rules, being more an expression of free spirit in a foreign environment. Thus, backpacking requires respect for everything around you - geography and people.
Inherent in this is the conclusion that backpackers are tolerant for the circumstances of all other travellers.
The travel snob shirks this conclusion, insisting that their form of travel is correct, implying that anyone who travels in a manner different to their's is merely wrong.
I recently had the fortune to meet a travel snob in Cambodia - in this instance, a Swiss girl riding around Cambodia via motorcycle.
She seemed to have issues with my format of travel that were summed up as follows.
1. It is wrong to sit on a beach in a tropical beach location and to not know where the local town is. This is especially true if you choose to eat a $2 meal at a restaurant on the sand, instead of hiking up the hill to the rat infested markets.
2. Travelling for a period of 3 weeks is inherently wrong, because it suggests that routine and normalcy are your definining characteristics, instead of intransiency. This is especially true if you need to return to a job, because that means you have sold out to capitalism and The Man.
Apparently, if you don't travel with the locals (at a tropical beach location) and eat with the locals (at a tropical beach location), and rough it with the locals (at a tropical beach location), then you just aren't travelling properly.
Question: How far does this principle extend?
Well, it happens to be a fact that medical care in Cambodia is poor. In fact, I would go so far as to say that the average Cambodian would never have had a Typhoid vaccination.
Apply the above principle.
Needless to say, the Swiss girl contracted Typhoid.
I mean, I'm all for freedom of spirit.
But when such 'freedom' leads to the decision between contracting a highly contagious, yet easily preventible disease and the pursuit of an authentic travelling experience ... do I even need to finish this thought?
Conclusion
I'm too good for all you snobs.
posted by The Groin at 3:05 pm
6 Comments:
Dear Groiny,
I read your article on my sleek new laptop while drinking an awesome Macchiato at Coluzzi in the cross (You dont know it? shame!) and thought you forgot about us techno-snobs, who wont talk to you unless you have the latest laptop, the latest little PDA and the newest way of sharing bullshit digital business cards with a new protocol that some lamo thought of in order to sell stuff.
Screw you for being a techno lamer.
I would also like to include:
The Academic Snob:
GPA is paramount with this sub-species. Number of degrees also plays a factor, but is second to overall grades.
Quality of institution is another quality, so when you mention that you went to "Normal Person" college, you are met with a derisive, condescending snort, followed by a brief review of their academic history (that you did not ask for)
Nevermind that you both hold the same job at the same pay, they once went to a good school. Thus they are superior.
The "looking for a date" snob.
Typically a guy who only talks to girls that fall into his own ill-defined "type" of "perfect date" material.
"Not my type" encompasses everything from too eager to not eager enough, to too skinny, not skinny enough, too beautiful, not beautiful enough, too trendy, too daggy, too clever, too stupid, too corporate, too alternative... too serious ("Just looking for the right guy") to too slutty ("Just looking for any guy")...
Often these 'boundaries' change dependant on a whim, alcohol or other substances imbued/imbibed.
So, as a girl, if you don't fall into some weird acceptable category in the "looking for a date" snob's head, at any time, then that guy will just not bother talking to you. Nice.
While I accept that the "Looking for a date" snob does exist, I can almost justify it.
Please refer to my earlier post regarding why women are like a pair of jeans.
If jeans don't fit, you don't just buy them and hope they eventually change shape.
To extrapolate, if you found a pair of jeans that you just knew wouldn't fit you, would you even bother trying them on in the first place?
Does this make me a jeans snob?
Re: the jeans
Sometimes, life isn't about shopping for a pair of jeans that fit. The entire shopping experience is also worthwhile, whether or not you're looking to buy...
(OK, translation: I was just trying to say that sometimes , girls are worth talking to outside of the context of picking up)
Joseph Epstein wrote a book called Snobbery. It's good. You should read it.
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