How much do our trains suck?
I was standing on a train platform the other day. I do a lot of that, these days. I probably spend more time on train platforms than on the train itself, which isn’t that hard, I guess, since I only travel two stops and my average waiting time is about ten minutes.
Generally speaking, I’m a positive person who likes to see the upside in any situation and the dysfunction of our train system is no exception. So, instead of bemoaning my inevitable tardiness, I’ve turned the train system into a source of entertainment.
I’ve created a game, by applying a formula based on the times displayed on the board, to predict what time the next train will arrive. For example, the scenario where the train is meant to arrive in 2 minutes time, but the board says the train is expected in 5 minutes time. Under Costa’s law of ineptitude, you add the two times and the train will arrive approximately 3 minutes after that.
It’s not just me who’s pursuing distraction on our platforms. How about the times you arrive to see the next train leaving in 28 minutes time, followed by one leaving 2 minutes later and another leaving 2 minutes after that one? Frustrated? Don’t be. This is just the station staff trying to keep themselves entertained because the trains never arrive.
Ever since litter was classified as a security risk, forcing the removal of garbage bins from platforms (Did someone say “Cost cutting”?), passengers have become more and more creative with where they place their rubbish. The other day I saw an apple core shoved up a tap. I also saw it the next day, the next day and the next day. Clearly, the train platform has evolved into a habitat for our refuse. It’s a matter of time until we see a nature show set in a Sydney train station. “Urbanis debris, otherwise known as garbage, loves the cool climate of a vending machine dispenser.”
The other day, I arrived on a packed platform to be welcomed by an announcement that the next train would be terminating and that all passengers should not board the train. Clearly, the sound system was as functional as the train system that day, because the announcement repeated itself ad nauseum for 10 minutes. Imagine my surprise when the next train arrived and the entire, seemingly deaf, crowd pushed to board this supposedly “terminating” train. Of course, it was the previous train that had terminated, no doubt due to the impending lunch break of the person who had pressed play on the tape.
I have formed a solution that does not involve replacing the current Government, although as a stunt, I suggest the Opposition consider launching their next election campaign on the tracks at Town Hall station during peak hour. Their safety is guaranteed.
The solution?
Sydneysiders pay a fortune for shows as entertaining as this. Sell tickets and use the money to fix the train system.
Generally speaking, I’m a positive person who likes to see the upside in any situation and the dysfunction of our train system is no exception. So, instead of bemoaning my inevitable tardiness, I’ve turned the train system into a source of entertainment.
I’ve created a game, by applying a formula based on the times displayed on the board, to predict what time the next train will arrive. For example, the scenario where the train is meant to arrive in 2 minutes time, but the board says the train is expected in 5 minutes time. Under Costa’s law of ineptitude, you add the two times and the train will arrive approximately 3 minutes after that.
It’s not just me who’s pursuing distraction on our platforms. How about the times you arrive to see the next train leaving in 28 minutes time, followed by one leaving 2 minutes later and another leaving 2 minutes after that one? Frustrated? Don’t be. This is just the station staff trying to keep themselves entertained because the trains never arrive.
Ever since litter was classified as a security risk, forcing the removal of garbage bins from platforms (Did someone say “Cost cutting”?), passengers have become more and more creative with where they place their rubbish. The other day I saw an apple core shoved up a tap. I also saw it the next day, the next day and the next day. Clearly, the train platform has evolved into a habitat for our refuse. It’s a matter of time until we see a nature show set in a Sydney train station. “Urbanis debris, otherwise known as garbage, loves the cool climate of a vending machine dispenser.”
The other day, I arrived on a packed platform to be welcomed by an announcement that the next train would be terminating and that all passengers should not board the train. Clearly, the sound system was as functional as the train system that day, because the announcement repeated itself ad nauseum for 10 minutes. Imagine my surprise when the next train arrived and the entire, seemingly deaf, crowd pushed to board this supposedly “terminating” train. Of course, it was the previous train that had terminated, no doubt due to the impending lunch break of the person who had pressed play on the tape.
I have formed a solution that does not involve replacing the current Government, although as a stunt, I suggest the Opposition consider launching their next election campaign on the tracks at Town Hall station during peak hour. Their safety is guaranteed.
The solution?
Sydneysiders pay a fortune for shows as entertaining as this. Sell tickets and use the money to fix the train system.
posted by The Groin at 1:17 pm
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