Nouveau Bogans
Etymology - the study of the history of words and how their form and meaning have changed over time.
Does anyone know the etymology of the word "etymology"? I think originally from a German word meaning "Spanish Onion" ... anyways, that's not important right now, because there's something I've been meaning to do for a very long time ...
For a while now, I've been meaning to understand Bogans. You know, those stereotypes who are perceived to be unsophisticated, with speech and mannerisms that are considered to denote poor education and uncultured upbringing. The kinds of people who include drinking beer, smoking, religiously following sport and having an interest in Australian-build cars (eg. Holdens, Fords etc.) and Aussie rock music as their hobbies.
Of course, this description of who is and isn't a Bogan describes pretty much everyone I know... and the most educated / cultured people I know fit into that category better than anyone else.
Bogans have fascinated me in recent times and, with all this fuss around Michael Clarke and Lara Bingle, I believe there needs to be more investment in Bogan studies, because only then can we start figuring out ways to stop them once and for all. My task: to create a series of Bogan Hypotheses that would enable society to understand and destroy Bogans.
Perhaps if we discover the etymology of the word, we'll start to understand where bogans come from?
Google "etymology bogan" and you'll get 14,400 hits. Wikipaedia, the source of all truth when truth is redefined as "a close enough guess" suggests that the word bogan dates back to Australian literature circa 1900 and that it may or may not come from the Bogan River. Banjo Patterson used the word to describe something of poor or little quality.
Bloody enlightening, this etymology business... I can see how etymologists get paid the big bucks... we're obviously going to need to do a bit more investigating, but to effectively research Bogans, I would need a representitive sample size, and there's only one place where I was going to be able to find enough Bogans...
The Big Day Out.
The metaphorical Bogan's den. Mecca for Bogans.
And given, for the purposes of research, that there were no car races, monster truck extravaganzas or rugby league games in January, the Big Day Out would have to do.
Bogans operate very well in their natural environments, but not so well when placed into non-Bogan situations. This is why Bogans tend to congregate in places frequented by other Bogans and the Big Day Out is like the Olympics for Bogans, where the best of the best attempt to outdo each other to gain the title of Bogan Champion of the World.
It has also been observed that Bogans don't like it when placed into non-Bogan environments alone, but are happy to congregate with other Bogans in non-Bogan environments. Over time, the Bogan congregations will learn to adapt the non-Bogan environment to suit them. It explains why traditional Spanish festivals such as Running of the Bulls or La Tomantina are now frequented by more Bogans than Spaniards. It explains why a case of VB would not look out of place at Oktoberfest. It explains Lagos. It explains Ios. It explains Bali. It explains Phuket.
Hypothesis 1 - The Bogan is a highly adaptive creature, capable of evolving its environment to suit itself. (call this the Shtinetime Adaptive Bogan Theory)
So, back to the Big Day Out and this researching Bogan-hunter. What was I meant to look for?
The stereotypical Bogan brings to mind mullets, flannel shirts, King Gee stubbie shorts, trackpants, yet this Big Day Out had none of these. Not an AFL beanie in sight. Moccasins on no-one.
Obviosuly, this Bogan stereotype is a highly dated concept, bannished to the 1980s.
Which didn't really help me, if I couldn't figure out what I was meant to be looking for.
"Such is Life"
It was then I had a flashback. Big Day Out 2005. Racial tensions between Aussies (white people) and Men of Middle Eastern Appearance (MOMEAs). I remembered the organisers deciding that they didn’t want people appearing with Australian flags, because they were said to incite racial violence. The theory being – ban the flag, prevent the incitement which would otherwise have been small in comparison to the nationalistic fervour incited when news of the ban arose.
These white people - they must have been bogans! The ones who ensured there were more flags than people at the Big Day Out. All i needed to do was find white people with Australian flags - surely then I would find the bogans I was looking for!
Yet there was not a flag in sight. Not even a shoulderblade or an ankle tattooed with the Southern Cross out of ritual nationalistic fervour on a working holiday to the UK. Not even one done on a Contiki tour.
What happened to all these 2005 vintage bogans? Where are they now? In jail? Married with kids? CEOs of investment banks? (All of the above?).
"Such is Life"
Yet, there exists a fatal flaw in the Shtinetime Adaptive Bogan Theory.
If Bogans adapt, then that explains why I can't see any flannel shirts. However it DOESN'T explain why flannel shirts are still sold at Lowes. Someone must buy them - surely Bogans!
Hypothesis 2 - The Bogan adapts and moves on, but is replaced by new Bogans who take their place.
This would explain why I saw no flannels, yet flannels continue to be sold. But it doesn't explain what happened to all the Bogans of yesteryear.
"Such is Life"
Hypothesis 3 - The Bogan is a photosynthetic creature
Just like plants use the energy from sunlight to convert carbon dioxide into oxygen in the process of staying alive, the Bogan reacts to the energy from the public spotlight to convert attention from other Bogans into memorable careers on reality TV shows and appearances in the Sunday gossip pages.
However, a combination of overexposure to too much spotlight short-circuits the conversion mechanism and while the Bogan will continue their Bogan behaviour, they are unable to do it under the glare of too much spotlight.
Ok, so now we understand that Bogans adapt and are forced to move out of the spotlight due to overexposure. But still, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be looking for.
"Such is Life"
Why do I keep having the words "Such is Life" running through my subconscious?
And then it dawned on me. I was at the Big Day Out. All I had to do was open my eyes - they were everywhere. By definition, I was surrounded by Bogans... covered in weird tattoos...
Nouveau Bogans
The Bogans at the Big Day Out still have tattoos, just not the Southern Cross tattoo. Instead they get tattoos of expressions written in cursive handwriting. "Such is Life", "My Brother's Keeper" and "Carpe Diem". They also get highly decorative tribal markings, often located on the shoulder or the lower back.
But the nouveau Bogan extends far beyond choice of tattoo or choice of clothing (I believe it's leopard skin print at the moment).
I realised that a fundamental shift had occured. The Bogan of today has metamorphosised into an all-encompasing creature. You can't just describe it in terms of hobby or dress sense, it is a complete all-encompassing lifestyle choice. The bogan of today is a Nouveau Bogan
Nouveau Bogans are more than just Bogans. They are members of a religion and its name is Boganism and their Lord is the lowest common denominator. Boganism is a habit. It's a lifestyle. It's a rite of passage.
Boganism is the books you don't read, the movies you don't watch and the important things going on all around you that you have no idea about. Boganism is a choice to not choose reality, because reality TV is way more interesting.
It's the places you go because you know other Bogans who've been there. It's the pursuit of vacuousness because other Bogans place importance on irrelevance.
Does the spread of Boganism explain why newspapers today now represent gossip columns? Why a visit to the Sydney Morning Herald's online website can sometimes be confused with Perez Hilton's?
Is it a coincidence that the proliferation of Boganism has coincided with the spread of budget airlines, Twitter, Facebook and Youtube?
Budget airlines have given Bogans the ability to stretch their wings to Bali and Phuket with other Bogans, effectively exporting Boganism to other places whilst retaining a facade of culture. Twitter and Facebook have provided a platform for Boganism to spread itself, creating millions of generic Bogan spawn And Youtube has given Bogans the ammunition and social spread to ensure that no Bogan exploit goes unnoticed.
Are these symptoms? Causes?
Is anyone still reading this?
Never mind... I'm pretty sure Australian Idol is about to start.
Does anyone know the etymology of the word "etymology"? I think originally from a German word meaning "Spanish Onion" ... anyways, that's not important right now, because there's something I've been meaning to do for a very long time ...
For a while now, I've been meaning to understand Bogans. You know, those stereotypes who are perceived to be unsophisticated, with speech and mannerisms that are considered to denote poor education and uncultured upbringing. The kinds of people who include drinking beer, smoking, religiously following sport and having an interest in Australian-build cars (eg. Holdens, Fords etc.) and Aussie rock music as their hobbies.
Of course, this description of who is and isn't a Bogan describes pretty much everyone I know... and the most educated / cultured people I know fit into that category better than anyone else.
Bogans have fascinated me in recent times and, with all this fuss around Michael Clarke and Lara Bingle, I believe there needs to be more investment in Bogan studies, because only then can we start figuring out ways to stop them once and for all. My task: to create a series of Bogan Hypotheses that would enable society to understand and destroy Bogans.
Perhaps if we discover the etymology of the word, we'll start to understand where bogans come from?
Google "etymology bogan" and you'll get 14,400 hits. Wikipaedia, the source of all truth when truth is redefined as "a close enough guess" suggests that the word bogan dates back to Australian literature circa 1900 and that it may or may not come from the Bogan River. Banjo Patterson used the word to describe something of poor or little quality.
Bloody enlightening, this etymology business... I can see how etymologists get paid the big bucks... we're obviously going to need to do a bit more investigating, but to effectively research Bogans, I would need a representitive sample size, and there's only one place where I was going to be able to find enough Bogans...
The Big Day Out.
The metaphorical Bogan's den. Mecca for Bogans.
And given, for the purposes of research, that there were no car races, monster truck extravaganzas or rugby league games in January, the Big Day Out would have to do.
Bogans operate very well in their natural environments, but not so well when placed into non-Bogan situations. This is why Bogans tend to congregate in places frequented by other Bogans and the Big Day Out is like the Olympics for Bogans, where the best of the best attempt to outdo each other to gain the title of Bogan Champion of the World.
It has also been observed that Bogans don't like it when placed into non-Bogan environments alone, but are happy to congregate with other Bogans in non-Bogan environments. Over time, the Bogan congregations will learn to adapt the non-Bogan environment to suit them. It explains why traditional Spanish festivals such as Running of the Bulls or La Tomantina are now frequented by more Bogans than Spaniards. It explains why a case of VB would not look out of place at Oktoberfest. It explains Lagos. It explains Ios. It explains Bali. It explains Phuket.
Hypothesis 1 - The Bogan is a highly adaptive creature, capable of evolving its environment to suit itself. (call this the Shtinetime Adaptive Bogan Theory)
So, back to the Big Day Out and this researching Bogan-hunter. What was I meant to look for?
The stereotypical Bogan brings to mind mullets, flannel shirts, King Gee stubbie shorts, trackpants, yet this Big Day Out had none of these. Not an AFL beanie in sight. Moccasins on no-one.
Obviosuly, this Bogan stereotype is a highly dated concept, bannished to the 1980s.
Which didn't really help me, if I couldn't figure out what I was meant to be looking for.
"Such is Life"
It was then I had a flashback. Big Day Out 2005. Racial tensions between Aussies (white people) and Men of Middle Eastern Appearance (MOMEAs). I remembered the organisers deciding that they didn’t want people appearing with Australian flags, because they were said to incite racial violence. The theory being – ban the flag, prevent the incitement which would otherwise have been small in comparison to the nationalistic fervour incited when news of the ban arose.
These white people - they must have been bogans! The ones who ensured there were more flags than people at the Big Day Out. All i needed to do was find white people with Australian flags - surely then I would find the bogans I was looking for!
Yet there was not a flag in sight. Not even a shoulderblade or an ankle tattooed with the Southern Cross out of ritual nationalistic fervour on a working holiday to the UK. Not even one done on a Contiki tour.
What happened to all these 2005 vintage bogans? Where are they now? In jail? Married with kids? CEOs of investment banks? (All of the above?).
"Such is Life"
Yet, there exists a fatal flaw in the Shtinetime Adaptive Bogan Theory.
If Bogans adapt, then that explains why I can't see any flannel shirts. However it DOESN'T explain why flannel shirts are still sold at Lowes. Someone must buy them - surely Bogans!
Hypothesis 2 - The Bogan adapts and moves on, but is replaced by new Bogans who take their place.
This would explain why I saw no flannels, yet flannels continue to be sold. But it doesn't explain what happened to all the Bogans of yesteryear.
"Such is Life"
Hypothesis 3 - The Bogan is a photosynthetic creature
Just like plants use the energy from sunlight to convert carbon dioxide into oxygen in the process of staying alive, the Bogan reacts to the energy from the public spotlight to convert attention from other Bogans into memorable careers on reality TV shows and appearances in the Sunday gossip pages.
However, a combination of overexposure to too much spotlight short-circuits the conversion mechanism and while the Bogan will continue their Bogan behaviour, they are unable to do it under the glare of too much spotlight.
Ok, so now we understand that Bogans adapt and are forced to move out of the spotlight due to overexposure. But still, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be looking for.
"Such is Life"
Why do I keep having the words "Such is Life" running through my subconscious?
And then it dawned on me. I was at the Big Day Out. All I had to do was open my eyes - they were everywhere. By definition, I was surrounded by Bogans... covered in weird tattoos...
Nouveau Bogans
The Bogans at the Big Day Out still have tattoos, just not the Southern Cross tattoo. Instead they get tattoos of expressions written in cursive handwriting. "Such is Life", "My Brother's Keeper" and "Carpe Diem". They also get highly decorative tribal markings, often located on the shoulder or the lower back.
But the nouveau Bogan extends far beyond choice of tattoo or choice of clothing (I believe it's leopard skin print at the moment).
I realised that a fundamental shift had occured. The Bogan of today has metamorphosised into an all-encompasing creature. You can't just describe it in terms of hobby or dress sense, it is a complete all-encompassing lifestyle choice. The bogan of today is a Nouveau Bogan
Nouveau Bogans are more than just Bogans. They are members of a religion and its name is Boganism and their Lord is the lowest common denominator. Boganism is a habit. It's a lifestyle. It's a rite of passage.
Boganism is the books you don't read, the movies you don't watch and the important things going on all around you that you have no idea about. Boganism is a choice to not choose reality, because reality TV is way more interesting.
It's the places you go because you know other Bogans who've been there. It's the pursuit of vacuousness because other Bogans place importance on irrelevance.
Does the spread of Boganism explain why newspapers today now represent gossip columns? Why a visit to the Sydney Morning Herald's online website can sometimes be confused with Perez Hilton's?
Is it a coincidence that the proliferation of Boganism has coincided with the spread of budget airlines, Twitter, Facebook and Youtube?
Budget airlines have given Bogans the ability to stretch their wings to Bali and Phuket with other Bogans, effectively exporting Boganism to other places whilst retaining a facade of culture. Twitter and Facebook have provided a platform for Boganism to spread itself, creating millions of generic Bogan spawn And Youtube has given Bogans the ammunition and social spread to ensure that no Bogan exploit goes unnoticed.
Are these symptoms? Causes?
Is anyone still reading this?
Never mind... I'm pretty sure Australian Idol is about to start.
posted by The Groin at 6:31 pm
4 comments
